Pretty in Pig
What does it mean to be beautiful?
Ultimately, there’s no rasher decision than changing your look, especially when trying to meat the high standards set by our society.
As discussed in this month’s edition of SQUEAL, putting your glammon is a fine and tedious art form, but it should never boar you. If you keep trotting through the same routine, resorting to just slobbing it on, your skin will soon start crackling, your foundation will be streaky, and you may even start scratching! What then? Your friends will be forced to tell porkies just to make you feel good.
The solution: trim the fat, hog the mirror and reap what you sow.
Follow this tutorial correctly, and everytime you catch your reflection in a porcine vase, you’ll forget the old you – the gorger, the gluttonous beast – and feel in tip chop shape foreverboar.
Remember… if you’ve got it, it’s okay to shoat it off.
Comment. Like. Despair.